Originally Posted by sulverna
Those are really good questions. I sat my hubby down last night and we talked about it. we decided the best thing would be to tell her up front what we are looking for. We are also realistic of human nature and realize that it is very likely she may develop a preference to one of us and when that happens the best coarse of action would be to have a sit down and possibly renegotiate the rules.
Renegotiate in what way? I think that something like this is really valuable to think about ahead of time, because you really don't want to get yourself into a situation where one or more of you are emotionally invested in this, along with possibly raging NRE, and then are trying to talk about these things. NRE can be a massive insecurity trigger for the other person, and that is absolutely not the best time to discuss things calmly. Most folks make mistakes and then have the discussion afterwards, once things have calmed down. Since you can see the possibility for this coming, you might want to have this discussion before someone gets hurt.
As for reading between the lines, etc, I suggest you take things slowly, with low expectations - if this is going to be the start of a long-term romantic relationship, what's the rush? Is anyone terminally ill? Take your time, go carefully, and enjoy the journey....