Originally Posted by nycindie
Were these actually "poly experiences" you couldn't handle, or just sexual experiences? Poly is wa-a-a-a-aaaaay more than just sex, and doesn't have to include threesomes or group sex at all. AT ALL. Lots of poly people never even do any of that. So, if he is just translating being poly into doing kinky stuff that you're not comfy with, don't let him terrorize you with that bullshit. Poly is about cultivating multiple loving relationships. How experienced in poly is he? You may want to invite him to read here and add his perspective.
He has had many years of experience being poly..we had had good sexual experiences including other people in the past so I wanted to try dating someone together to kind of ease into it. I understand a lot of the poly community rejects this idea and it basically makes us unicorn hunters and every other bad stereotype. Even after this bad experience I still think it is the best choice for us. I feel so conflicted and awful because the first part of it was really, really enjoyable, maybe even the best sexual experience of my life, but I got overwhelmed and didn't communicate well and it spiraled out of control. I would love to try again, I really think I could handle myself better, there were just a lot of elements I wasn't expecting and I didn't do a good job managing myself.