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Old 07-12-2012, 02:36 PM
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jones jones is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: stoke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I'm tuning in late. But I feel your pain -- I am so sorry you are hurting.

This basically sounds like a break up conversation and you have zero interest in working anything out.

If so, just don't bother to list the grievances. Air them out where you need to air them out for your own healing with safe people.

But don't let this unsafe person know they got to you that deeply. Simply state that you don't want to be in relationship with them any more because they keep crossing boundaries.

Giving an unsafe person more insight into your pain? Why? So they can continue to make you feel unsafe emotionally and hurt you some more?

I prefer breakups happen with more grace and closure, but that requires the other party have some decorum. I'm not getting the vibe this party is that type. It's best then with a quick, clean break. At least on your end! so you can move it forward to a better healing place for you. THEY can hang on to the weird yucko feelings. Ugh.

Again I'm sorry this is coming down like this and that you are hurting.

GL!
GG
hi GG,

Quote:
This basically sounds like a break up conversation and you have zero interest in working anything out.
I am trying to put across how I feel and how I feel that they have done so much and they aren't even sorry, I do love gf and she loves me but then she does these things and it hurts and makes me wonder if it is true love? I know I want a break from gf as I am mad at her and I don't want to lose my oh but he is being selfish and in his own little world with gf.

I was trying to think of ways to make us happy, for example: we meet alone twice a month for each swap: ie me and bf/oh and gf and then the next day or later in the same week me and gf and oh and bf and the other weeks we meet together but as we are swingers as well, we will only have sex if the other two are having sex ( me and bf don't have sex a lot and this is a real problem for me and bf)

Quote:
But don't let this unsafe person know they got to you that deeply. Simply state that you don't want to be in relationship with them any more because they keep crossing boundaries.
I will do this but I will be leaving in about my children, they don't need a second mum and it is not right!

Quote:
Giving an unsafe person more insight into your pain? Why? So they can continue to make you feel unsafe emotionally and hurt you some more?
good questions. I feel she needs to know why she has upset me so as she has little idea but I will think about it some more and I won't let her hurt me as I am taking a break and my oh WILL be taking a break, he may resent me but we have been together for nine years and we are more important.

thank you so much for replying gg xoxo
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