Honestly, sometimes you just have to wait it out and be patient. When Wendigo and I first started seeing each other it was supposed to be a strictly FWB thing with very specific benefits that we negotiated for ahead of time. But after the first few times, we got hit with the NRE train hard, me more than him for sure. In less than a month we went from friends who had never really considered more than cuddles, to FWB, to lovers. I didn't see it coming and I certainly didn't realize I was in love until it was pointed out to me. Runic Wolf attempted several times to bring me back down to earth, but even when he pointed out specific things he caught me doing - like going on non-stop about Wendigo or neglecting the house work because I was sleeping all day from having stayed up talking to Wendigo online until the sun came up - I didn't really hear him. I heard him saying he was feeling neglected and thought and often said, but I'm right here with you, we're spending time together. . . . I only see Wendigo once a week or every other week so ofcourse when I see him I want to be all over him those times, but I'm here now. Ofcourse, to Runic Wolf it felt like I wasn't really there at all. Sometimes he was patient with me, sometimes not. Sometimes we fought over my disconnect with reality as he saw it. And then one day, the NRE went away.
I really am sorry that you are struggling, but I really can't tell you how to ask for more than vagueness or even tell you that it will work. I repeatedly got smacked upside the head with my behavior in the moment, after the moment, etc. and it didn't sink in until after the NRE subsided. I was lucky that my husband stuck with me through all 5 or so months of it.