well, you sound like you are in the ballpark, but break it down.
HOW would they show you are needed?
You want to be included in decision making for the household?
Have sharing of confidences first sometimes instead of second?
Get assigned chores in the house so you feel like it is your house too? And you aren't on "permanent guest?"
Have your scheduled time alone with each of them actually scheduled, and then honored without the other one butting in (shy of 911 emergency)?
Keep going. You sound like you are on the right track.