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Old 07-12-2012, 12:29 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,786

19 years

I don't think it is a matter of time but a matter of experience and circumstance.

When I got together with MrS I had a fair amount of sexual experiences with men but the whole emotional relationship aspect was new - so I was exploring that for the first time with him. I wanted to continue to explore my newly discovered bisexuality by pursuing sexual experiences with women, which he was supportive of.

The original OPP didn't get challenged very much or very often because, frankly, my focus has been on women and I never ran across a man who I was attracted to enough to bother seriously challenging the OPP for. Until Dude came along (19 years later)...

We had a few months of rough transition (mainly due to my own self-deception and inexperience) but made it through. MrS was able to "get over it" with this particular metamour (his best friend) at this particular point in our lives. Could he have accepted it sooner with someone else? No way to know. Now that the OPP has been broken I think his feelings are more in tune with his ideology (he always agreed with my poly philosophies in theory - it was the gut reactions that tripped him up) and if it ever comes up again (in another 19 years?) it would be less challenging.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 07-12-2012 at 12:33 PM.
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