Originally Posted by mercury
That's impressive that you two are so free about it. That's how I think it should be. I like free love that's truly free love. If it's fake free love...ugh.
So how is it working out for you? I mean, you say that's your structure, but has it also manifested pretty easily as well? You're okay when he dates women and has serious interest and sex with them? And vice versa? Very little jealousy and drama?
What's strange is that I'm technically a mono person. But I think I could be poly easily. I really think I'm both. I think poly would be challenging, but I think I could do it a lot more easily than a lot of people who much more deeply and seriously claim it as an identity than I do.
It's one thing we've always been, very open and honest. Sometimes we forget and that leads to us blowing off steam and having hours long conversations. We're truly best friends first and lovers second. That sounds odd, haha!
That said, we are new to being openly poly. 6 years ago, maybe 7, we started talking about the idea of a 3rd person joining us. We rushed into the the idea and ended up with a couple of weird people trying to use us and that ended poorly. We left the idea for a couple of years, coming back to it and just talking. More recently, we've been brutally honest about our needs and wants, and realized that we both need more than each other. We can not supply 100% what we need (regardless of wants) to each other. It's not a bad thing at all. We both have always been open with crushes and attractions, so this is the most logical thing we could think of.
I have no problem with my hunny loving others, because he's such an amazingly giving, loving man. He is exceptional and I am blessed to have him in my life <3 I've even told him if he decides to father a child with another, tell me (even if it's an oops). I may have some feelings to overcome myself (having lost 2 pregnancies with him), but I want him to have that chance at fatherhood. I don't care if he's with 1 wo/man or 20, haha. As long as he is safe and happy, that is all that matters. He knows for me, I like both genders, and will be with both. Same thing, as long as I am safe and happy, that is all that matters. I guess we've always been the odd ducks among our friends, lol. We're very open to having loving relationships with other people (just not swinging, not for us)