Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine
Yeah, I suppose that's what bothered me there too. I am childfree. I don't want kids. So to me, "children" are merely another aspect to my life, like my hobbies, my friends, my pets, my career and so on.
My wife doesn't give a damn about my hobbies, other than that they interest me. I don't expect her to.
So when I see this "Swingers wouldn't care about your kids", it seems as if they exalt children above other aspects of a person's life. Everyone has different value sets, and I can see why people WOULD care about their children more than other things, but none of the people I relate to (and I'm not even referring to sex partners here) care about every aspect of my life that I do. I think it's rather rude to imply that because they don't care about a specific one, they're any different than someone who disregards another aspect of it.
Thanks for helping me clarify, crisare.
Funny-because that wasn't what I got out of it at all.
I got that she was using the kids as an example of the depth of committment involved between someone who is in a polyfamily versus swinging. That may not be wholly true-I for sure dont frequent a swingers group OR a poly group!
But one of the wonderful couples I know who did the swinging thing... well I am (not a lover to either in ANY aspect) certain I am the one they would call to care for their children, pets, jobs, homes etc if something happened-not their swinger friends. Because we have a shared LOVE for one another (not lovers remember) and an ongoing relationship between our famiies and our children, but they don't share a love or those relationships between the families and children with the couples that they swing with.... They share an enjoyable past time... sex.
Much as I don't call on my (when I worked) coworkers to help in my family situations-because we only shared a jobspace, job we enjoyed, but still not a deep loving relationship there that I would entrust my children to...
I don't see anything WRONG with that at all. Great sex and great fun for them.
It's funny on a side note-I never wanted to have children and looked forward to living life as a single women with no kids forever... here I am with a husband, boyfriend, and four kids. WHAT HAPPENED? (rhetorical question)