Originally Posted by Daffodil
My husband will get over it. He always does. Although he cares about her, she is his secondary. He will still have me.
Will he want you if you give him an ultimatum? My partner would kick me to the curb, and rightly so, because if my metamour's only sin is being loved by him, guess what? That's poly! And it's exactly what I signed on for!
Guess what else? If he's poly, that means he can love both of you at once
. That's kind of the appeal of the setup for me. The nature of polyamory is such that if he falls in love with someone else, he wouldn't have to leave either of his current partners. Likewise, if I fall in love with someone else, I get to have both of them!
Just what did you and your husband agree to in the first place?
I realize that I sound selfish and perhaps I am, but it's MY marriage. Not hers. I need to protect that in whichever way I can.
She may not be married to him, but after eighteen months together, they're definitely in long-term commitment territory, which means you should've voiced your objections when it started.
Except, of course, that you couldn't be arsed to pay attention to him then. *smiles*