Wow. I just wrote a post in my personal blog on this exact issue. I don't know how to tell him/them that I NEED them to be emotionally, spiritually, lovingly, intellectually in tune with me when we're together, or I'm not interested in being there.
In my case, there isn't "a new friend" (though that has been an issue in the past). It seems to be work that is keeping both of them distant and preoccupied. But, nothing I say seems to help or make any sense.
I get the 'i love you' (well no shit-I KNOW that, we've got 14 and 19 years together respectively).
But I need to FEEL the love and I don't feel it when I'm the only one interested in the moment...
(I also don't feel it when the focus is sex and I can't get off that way. So it's been a month or more of sexual frustration too because I can't GET THERE when I feel so UNCONNECTED)
Sigh-sympathy going your way.
"Love As Thou Wilt"