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Old 12-03-2009, 05:30 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Hmmm...yeah, that article actually doesn't sit well with me.

Your child falls and breaks his leg. It's many weeks in the healing. Finally, it heals, and then he's afraid to stand on it... When he finally gets up the gumption, and does...

1.) Where are your Partners? (Non LDR) Poly partners are likely to be present. Swinging partners are more likely to be at home.

2.) How significant is this event to your partners? Poly partners are likely to be happy to have been present to see "their" baby take his second set of "first steps", having missed it the first time around. Swinging partners are more likely to go, "oh, cool...congratulations, Paul.", and go on about their lives... To me, it's not a type of committment, it's not necessarily about sex.

To me, the distinction between swinging and polyamory is a depth of emotional involvement in each other's lives. Swinging partners, to me, would seem to have a greater emotional distance from their partners, and prefer to keep it that way, while Poly partners want to grow closer in their relationships with others, often until the lines of distinction between the "old" pair and the "new" pair are completely blurred to all outside determination - you hadda be there, or hafta ask, to tell who was with who originally.
I dunno. This article seems to limit the definition of commitment to being physically present at major life milestones and saying that any other kind of commitment isn't a commitment. It negates that there can be powerful romantic commitments in relationships that don't necessitate being there for such things. It negates the fact that there can be loving relationships that exist on differing levels of commitment. And while there's fuzziness around the edges, the basic definition of swinging is recreational sex without necessarily having a romantic attachment. So it's really hard for me to translate that into a partner who I might see every couple of weeks but still have a powerful and unique connection with as a swinging partner simply because of the frequency of our meetings.

I also know a few people who have different relationships that speak to different parts of their lives and their selves. With one friend, one of her partners is the partner with whom she has kids, another partner is her Dom. To say that they should both relate to the events in her family's life in the same way seems very limiting to me.
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