I dont have time to delve into all of this thread-but great topics!
I did want to say,
one of the key things for me that is VERY clear to me is that I could not "do poly" in a manner where any of my partners weren't part of my immediate household.
My reasoning is that it would take away our day to day interactions and that is a critical component of a romantic relationship for me.
I have 4 kids. 2 still live at home and a grandson who is with me a few times a week. My husband and boyfriend live with me.
We operate as a single family unit.
OCCASIONALLY I will have a one-on-one date with one or the other of them. But, the large majority of our social time is all together (including kids).
The one caveat is that during the school year, my boyfriends work schedule is evenings (husbands is always 7am-3or 5pm). So during the school years I have mornings with boyfriend and kids, evenings with husband and kids.
But, weekends are family time.
We reserve our couple anniversaries as "personal couple dates" and we try to make a date every couple months that is strictly one-on-one for each couple.
(we are a V, not a triad, they are both straight men with no interest in one another).
"Love As Thou Wilt"