I haven't read any of the responses to this thread yet - I wanted to give my answers before seeing what others said.
1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely?
- they haven't for me yet, but I'm only six months in, and hubby has not had a "relationship" during the time - just flirtations, and generally things that broke the boundaries we had set, so I haven't been able to be comfortable with things yet
2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like?
- I have told hubby I don't want details beyond the basics. Yes, I want to know if he is sexually active so I can be sure to take precautions. But I don't want a play by play.
Hubby enjoys details of what I do with my boyfriend, and boyfriend seems to like some details. Like as in... it gets their motors running. Neither cares if I don't share details. Both leave it up to me how much to tell.
3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often?
- I don't have enough experience with this to really say for sure.
4. Do you expect to meet your primary's dates?
- Yes, I would expect to meet anyone he was going to date, if only for a quick "yes, we're all cool and on the same page" talk.
5. Do you have limits on the amount of times per week that you see secondaries?
- Derrick has just asked that I give him 24 hrs notice before a date. Other than that, no set limit, provided I'm still doing what I need to do with our family. I tend to see my boyfriend once or twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
6. Do you operate a "I'll do (x activity - date/kiss/sleep with) then tell you" - or do you operate "I'd like to do (x) - would you be ok with it?"
- I make sure to run anything I worry hubby would not be okay with by him before it happens if at all possible. Once I had something happen that was a bit iffy by our guidelines so I immediately told him about it to confirm if it was ok or not.
7. Do you have a veto rule? Do you agree with vetoing?
- Yes, we do, and I do agree with it to a point. I have only veto'ed people who go against one or more of our boundaries. I'm not really sure that is a "veto rule" though, so much as requiring the boundaries we agreed upon to be honored unless they are re-evaluated/modified of course.
8. What is the biggest stress for you in poly? (possessiveness, jealous, threat, guilt, time constraints, etc)
- time constraints, absolutely
9. What is the difference, for you, between acting in a poly way, and acting in a single way?
- I can be open to more possibilities I guess? To be honest I don't act much different now, except that I have two relationships. I'm not out there looking to date anyone else, but if the perfect person popped up, I could explore it.
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.
Me: F, 30's, bi.
Sadist: my fwb. M, 30's.
Pandora: Sadist's gf. F, 30's.