Originally Posted by mostlyclueless
Thank you all for your help. It is relieving to hear from people who had bad experiences and then went on to have good ones. I would kind of like a do-over now that I've sorted out why I reacted badly...would it be a bad idea to ask the other parties for one? I am worried they both think I'm too crazy/too much drama at this point...
I'm concerned about him insisting you're not cut out for poly from this one instance. This assumption that you're not supposed to have adverse reactions is bullshit; I've had to stop my SO from doing the same. Let me feel the way I feel and we can talk about it afterwards. You have that right.
Where have you seen this "too crazy/too much drama" behaviour from yourself? Don't mistake fear and frustration with such a write-off concept. And I suggest a serious talk with your BF before trying to initiate a second romp. He's being dismissive and all it's doing is plaguing you with self-doubt.