Okay. From you've said here, OH and GF seem to be emotionally manipulating each other, and not only that, but also you and BF. This is not healthy, nor is it okay. Half of this quad is selfish and demanding. That means it's not working for the other half, which in turn isn't working for the whole relationship.
If everybody can't get in a room, get in a circle, voice their individual concerns and make suggestions and solutions TOGETHER about how to make this a better situation for everyone to be in, I think you should step back. From everything. I do think keeping in contact with BF would be good though, as friends.