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Old 07-11-2012, 04:20 PM
Daffodil Daffodil is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NW USA (Seattle area)
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post

How long have they been in a relationship? what quite a while ...

Have you discussed this vibe or feeling you get about her with your husband ?

Pretty hard to get someone to see a light that's not really there..."she hasn't really done anything to warrant my distaste "
Hey there,

Thank you for your reply!

I'm unsure exactly how long they have been together. I didn't pay attention in the beginning as he has been seeing many women casually over the years since we opened our relationship. I believe it's been about 18 months.

I have spoken to my husband, yes, but not in an inflammatory way. He is quite taken with her so I don't want to upset the boat too much. He is intent on continuing his relationship with her

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
A couple questions for you:
What light is it that you want your husband to see? You seem somewhat neutral about her actual character, but apparently there's some flaw or something that you wish your husband to notice.

Second, if you manage a veto, or even to get rid of her without one, what purpose would it serve? What advantage would you gain from their breakup?

Is the spite you express for her worth the misery that your husband will experience when they break up?
My husband will get over it. He always does. Although he cares about her, she is his secondary. He will still have me.

The problem is, there is nothing wrong with her character. She is everything he enjoys and appreciates in a woman, attributes that I can't offer, and I guess the fear is that he would prefer being with her than being with me.

The only advantage is that I won't have to see this woman and the effect that she has on my husband and I can sleep better at night knowing that he's home with me rather than enjoying her.

I realize that I sound selfish and perhaps I am, but it's MY marriage. Not hers. I need to protect that in whichever way I can.