Originally Posted by kdt26417
I think the most important thing here is that your partner call or text you (with the understanding that it'll just be a short call or text) at least once a day when he's away. If you've already told him that you need this, and he's said, "No," then you have a problem and will have to decide if it's a dealbreaker. If you haven't told him that you need this, then you should let him know.
I'm sure there will always be a little jealousy tugging at the edges, so use whatever distractions you have to their utmost ability to help you keep your mind on other things. Also you might want to consider asking him to go on an out-of-town vacation trip with you sometime.
What you wrote totally helped. I talked to him about texting/calling at least once a day when he's away and discussed my openness to even meeting her. I am not sure which one his primary is, or if he even prefers to call one of us his primary. I made it known to him that although I have poly tendencies, I am invested in him only for now. Jealousy is something I could learn to handle eventually (I am hoping). Since he's been back, it's been good. I am trying to concentrate on the positives and hoping that the hurdle we had last week was something that taught both of us a valuable lesson to make our relationship stronger.
I'm hoping, too, that we do go on vacation some time.