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Old 07-11-2012, 04:34 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely?
Yes and no. They may go completely away regarding one person or a series of persons or even situations-only to reappear elsewhere.

2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like? Not generally. Maca is too possessive and generally I'm not interested.

3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often? absolutely! Anything that results in me being neglected. I don't care about the sex/love/kissing/dating as long as its not done INSTEAD of being done with me. I don't have an issue sharing, but I do have an issue being replaced. So we make sure that we don't neglect our time together-ever.

4. Do you expect to meet your primary's dates? absolute requirement. If they can't be respectful and polite to me-they aren't fucking my partner and vice versa.

5. Do you have limits on the amount of times per week that you see secondaries? yes and no. Yes in new relationships. If the relationship continues and becomes a long-term relationship/permanent partner, then no we do not. I.E. I have no limits on seeing GG, but if either of us got new partners-there would be limits AND there were limits with GG to begin with.

6. Do you operate a "I'll do (x activity - date/kiss/sleep with) then tell you" - or do you operate "I'd like to do (x) - would you be ok with it?" Nothing happens without it meeting the criteria of our boundaries which are pretty strict and always require prior agreement.

7. Do you have a veto rule? Do you agree with vetoing? Not really. We dont need one because we both agree that having our partners agree with our boundaries is critical. Furthermore, because our boundaries can be renegotiated at 3 month intervals-if someone isn't willing to spend 3 months being socially involved so that they could then discuss a renegotiation to fit their needs-they probably aren't going to be a good mix for our family since we are a live-in family with multiple generations. There's no reason we won't consider changes at that interval that would benefit another partner-and once a partner is involved they can join in negotiations.

8. What is the biggest stress for you in poly? (possessiveness, jealous, threat, guilt, time constraints, etc)
For me, guilt because I already have a fulltime-live in love and Maca doesn't. GG doesn't have an interest, but Maca does.

9. What is the difference, for you, between acting in a poly way, and acting in a single way?
A huge difference. Single for me would mean having to consider my needs and my kids needs. Poly means considering my needs, my kids needs, my husbands needs and my boyfriends needs. WHICH is why I'm not actively seeking a girlfriend even though I long for one, because I do NOT HAVE TIME to devote to dating.
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