I was an extra-oblivious child, I think. My parents took 'naps.' and I actually thought they were sleeping. I was a kid, I took naps, it was a pretty logical conclusion. When they took naps, I was expected to entertain myself. And I did. I was an only child.
I suspect I would have been confused if they had tried to sit me down and explain it. They sent me to therapy when they had a 'trial separation' when I was 8, to make sure I didn't think it was my fault. I don't remember being asked directly if I thought that; but I suspect that would have confused me as well. I could not, as a child, imagine that my parents considered me in anything they did, so why would anything I did affect them. (oh ya, we were special)
And my dad had girlfriends. I remember them coming to dinner. I do not know if my mom knew they were girlfriends before she served them dinner or not. I do know they came to dinner more than once; I remember at least three of them clearly. And I do know she bitched about them later (when I was older, after their bitter divorce).
I think most children are not as oblivious as I was. You know your kids better, and can find out what they think, what they know, and how they feel. How will it enrich their lives to know? How will it put their happiness and security at risk if they know? How will it enrich their lives to not know? How will it put their psyches at risk to not know?
Just stuff to ponder.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)