Yah, I don't see butterflies as a measure of love. I view love as a verb, it's something I do, by taking consistent loving actions towards others.
I had a fight with CBF over the weekend. He hasn't always done this, but has learned, in our relationship, that it's very important for me to feel still connected when we fight. He makes an incredible effort to say, 'I still love you, I just need to be alone and MAD right now.' I get mad at him endlessly. I make an effort to speak to him pleasantly, especially when I've been mad for a few days. I know that most of my mad is my own nuttiness; so why take it out on him?
That's just an example of loving when it's hard. It's easy to have dates, have presents, do the fun, do the sexy. It's hard to love when what you really want is to slap someone, or say the meanest thing you can think to say.
I'd much rather love and be loved than have butterflies. Not to say I don't like butterflies, they're fun. But not a pre-requisite. for me.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)