Originally Posted by newtoday
My bf stresses about it often. It keeps him up at night wondering how he's going to cope if/when I leave. He gets sad, depressed, worries alot about it. He had a dream a couple of weeks ago that we were breaking up and we were both crying in the dream, broken hearted. He told me about his dream as I woke up, and I was very quiet. I asked him "Is that a sign? Is that what you want to do?" He was stunned and replied 'No, no I don't, but I was worried that you did when you were so quiet."
Interesting to hear this. It helps me understand BF. He frequently expresses the same fear, even as he tells me he doesn't want to hurt me and I need to do what's right for me, and not to worry about him. I recently sent him an e-mail expressing some thoughts that were all positive. He read them with that fear and thought I was saying it was over. Reading your experience helps me to understand just how deep his fear is.
It's ironic...or sad? That both people have reasons to have so much fear. I often find it hard to believe that I'm really anything other than a new toy to play with while his wife is off with her boyfriend. I realize that even though it's highly unlikely, his wife could
announce one day she no longer wants to be poly and then it's over in a heartbeat. And yet...it's eye-opening to see that the person who in theory should be more secure seems to have even more fears than I do.