I think by my parents/family and the media I was kind of brain washed into monogamy because I didn't know any other way. Before meeting my husband I was all about monogamy. When he told me he was polyamorous and I began learning and understanding polyamory, I realized it fit me. It's only natural for people to feel attractions/connections with other people. When I was monogamous I suppressed those attractions/connections and didn't really pay attention to them because I thought I had to. I thought it was normal to ignore those attractions/connections. Until I learned more about polyamory.