I said I'd keep my politics off of the forum, but this is one that itches to be mentioned.
To me, marriage has nothing to do with the state. It has everything to do with commitment and love for other people.
I see no reason why a poly family couldn't have multiple marriages. Some places recognize commonlaw marriage; why should it be different because the household happens to trigger multiple marriages by sharing the household commitment?
Legally speaking, they can't both be her husband (and wife). But practically speaking, I see no reason why they shouldn't be. They've likely got a vested interest in what happens in the home, to the children, to the remaining spouses, et cetera.
You, not some paperwork in a city government file folder, should determine and designate spouses.
And Kudos to crisare.
It's hard, sometimes, to step outside of what is expected. It means blazing new trails and rejecting convention. That doesn't sit comfortably with a lot of people, but it's the price to be paid for thinking and acting for yourself. It's extremely empowering for yourself and yoru partners to be okay letting the relationships and no social norms define what it is to you. Kudos.
Last edited by DrunkenPorcupine; 12-03-2009 at 04:43 AM.