Originally Posted by mostlyclueless
Thanks, your replies have been really helpful so far.
It is really hard for me to balance asking for things I want (in this case, having the sex stop) vs. dealing with those feelings so my other partner(s) can do what they want (in this case, continuing the threesome). I am feeling a lot of guilt over not being able to just deal with it.
Is he really asking you to deal with those feelings in the moment so that he doesn't have to stop or is that what you think he is wanting? Perhaps I should have said that you need to work on those feelings before you have another threesome. Expecting that you be able to process through them in the middle of a threesome is an unfair expectation, whether he holds it or you hold it of yourself. I'm sorry that you are feeling guilty, that's never a fun feeling, but many times it comes from self expectations and disappointment that we can't always be who we expect we should. Give yourself the freedom to not always be okay with everything, but commit to learning how to be truly okay and accept that there are some things you won't be okay with and that's okay too.