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Old 07-10-2012, 10:54 AM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderingdaughter View Post
He's my husband and of course he likes me the best - I have no worries or fears.

I have just started seeing this guy, A.

Why do I even care? I am already married! Even if A does think C is hotter and more interesting than I am, he's certainty entitled to - I'm more into my husband than I am into A.

How do I get over it?
Haha.... I love this. It made me smile. Not in a sadistic way over your pain But because I've literally just come away from an argument with my GF about the craziness of emotions.

And ohhh... yeah... that's insecurity alright! Welcome, welcome, to the insecurity pool...

Emotions are a strange and fascinating phenomenon. They can pop up at the most random moments, over the most random things. In fact, they usually do.

Sometimes, if we're living life in a safe model, we don't get to face these challenges as quickly as we might think. For whatever reason (and it's great), you never had jealousy over your husband. Very likely because you have the trust there and feel like your 'his favourite' and that he's yours. Fewer challenges.

With new people, the trust isn't there and you don't really know how they see you. It's not so safe or predictable.

It sounds like you've got a good sane handle on it, for a start! And that's the baffling thing about emotion - your rational brain knows that you are being crazy; even unfair... but part of you has this little nagging feeling.

I think that what you're experiencing is a normal reaction to a new situation - it's a new flag that's going to help you deal with your underlying little insecurities.

The insecurity being how you compare to other women. I can't promise that you will become a completely evolved, emotional robot... but at least if you can understand why you feel the way you do, you won't beat yourself up for feeling it.

The best thing you can do is activities that make you feel good, things that boost your ego a bit while it passes, then when the moments arise, just try to let them pass, breathe through them... make fun of them if you can... they are just your demons trying to mess with you
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Me: (30f) open poly
Serious long-distance relationship with GF (40f)
Casual FWB with Descartes (27f)



“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." ~ Buddha
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