Can you learn to accept or make peace with his need/desire/perception of you as jealous, needing reassurance, etc.????? YOU know how YOU feel. What he thinks your thoughts and behaviors are about are his perceptions....which you have little control over. You can only speak your truth...whether or not he believes it. You might reflect this back to him. "I know you think this is about jealousy...etc...etc. even though I've told you it's not. I can't control how you see things. I can only state how I think/feel. I'm really not interested in debating whether I'm jealous or not, and I'm not interested in you trying to be reassuring. I've told you that I don't need to be reassured, and I feel offended/insulted/ hurt/patronized, (etc.) when you insist on trying to reassure me after I've already told you that's not what it's about."
I'm wondering if he has some kind of need to turn the focus back on you so as to take attention off from the fact that he knows he's making poor choices related to this woman??? Or if telling you about his poor choices gives him a type of temporary relief?? It's kind of like trying to ease the guilt when you already know you're doing something that's not good for you by "confessing" your "sins" to someone else.
I had a good friend tell me once "I'm not willing to listen to you talk about ..... ...... anymore. I think you deserve to be treated better than that. It's your choice to remain with ......., but it's too painful for me to hear about someone hurting a person I love and care about over and over again." Yes, it hurt at first, but it ended up being the best thing she could have said to me. And she had the right to take care of herself...her feelings.
Last edited by dragonflysky; 07-10-2012 at 06:23 AM.