Ginko thinks she'd be happy being monogamous again once her relationship with J ends, however/whenever that comes about, though that could be years from now if we continue to adapt to the situation. She'd only tried being otherwise because she thought that was what I wanted, as addressed in another thread
. Given all the effort she put into adapting to non-monogamy over 3+ years, I feel it's worth me trying to do the same a while longer. Ultimately we'll settle on whatever feels best for our relationship.
This past weekend Ginko had time with J while I worked and saw friends, while still making sure she and I had plenty of time with each other, and for once no one seemed to feel shortchanged. It restored my hope a bit, and I'm looking forward to seeing how we do next week as we continue trying new ways that may help her see J while losing little time with me.
I'm fine with her loving other people, it's mostly that I miss the focus we used be able to give each other, the freedom we had to do whatever we wanted outside of work without having to take anyone else into account, no one else feeling like they had a claim on her time due to any sort of commitment, and no one distracting her from what time she had with me, aside from friends that largely focus on both of us.