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Old 07-09-2012, 05:28 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Something for her to think about concerning the changes of her husband:

1. You are a different person around each and everyone you interact with on a more intimate level. Not drastically different, but there are some personal interactions that are just caused by that 'couple-dynamic' (works with friends as well); sparked by the special traits each person has. General statements like "I am not that into kissing." may sounded universal back then, but in a monogamous structure they basically meant "I am not that into kissing with you." It just wasn't their thing. Totally valid point, there will be different things they like, but the statement doesn't have to apply in regard to other partners automatically.

2. He may have changed due to the special kind of relationship structure you all are involved in. I observed this in my husband's case as well. He was never one to talk that much about relationship stuff, problems, things bothering him and so on. In this new vee dynamic, he is forced to do so. It wouldn't work otherwise. We still struggle with his caginess, but he became a lot more open. I don't think that this is mainly caused by my boyfriend, it is caused by the new dynamic and basic requirements of the situation at hand. Yes, my boyfriend or in your case you brought that change about, but her husband as well as mine are just reacting accordingly. As she and you and everyone involved as well. This isn't 'your fault' or 'your accomplishment' solely.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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