Monogamy is making a decision to love one person at a time and loving that one person at a time. I think people can come and go out of that, but like poly, its a struggle and with that comes decisions to make. Those decisions involve deciding to stay with one person, not allow feelings in for others, realizing that ones best place is with the one person they love, and many others that mean staying with one person at a time. Its a choice as much as it is someones nature depending on who they are and how they want to conduct their lives. Nature and nurture go hand in hand in whether or not someone is mono or not I think.
I don't think people really know overall about anything in the span of their lifetime, but they know in the moment that they either love one or more than one. What they tell themselves, what they tell others and what they believe and hold true for themselves is what is either mono or poly.
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