It was the best of nights, it was the worst of nights.
Gia's parents visited all day, so she and Eric didn't get much of a chance to talk. She ended up just sending me a text with a list of four mildly kinky sexual activities that they'd had a chance to agree on. I rated them from "I am crazy interested in this" to "I'm definitely willing to do this but don't know if I'll be able to do it for long" to "I'm very curious about this and want to try it but, since I've never done it before, I don't know how I'll take to it," and sent back a few additional suggestions. I also suggested that maybe we go back to my place before 2am this time, but she wrote back that this dance night is really important to her, and I said that was fine.
Gia was amongst the folks standing outside the club chatting when I arrived, around midnight. She grabbed me, kissed me, groped me, snapped my suspenders (yes, I was wearing black suspenders), and was generally loud and enthusiastic and very toppy. It. Was. Awesome. In front of all of our friends, even. Delicious. She clearly had been drinking and seemed to be enjoying herself greatly. She was more gregarious and forward than usual with everyone around us, it seemed like she was trying on a new persona and liking it.
She said to me, teasingly, "Guess which part of my outfit you're going to be wearing later?" My eyes went straight to her collar. I've fantasized about her asking to collar me, which is a D/s commitment thing. I knew this wasn't that. It would, of course, be really premature for that, since we've barely begun exploring D/s with each other. It would just be a thing for play for an evening, but I still had a moment of being touched and moved that went past the general excitement of anticipating upcoming kinky sex. I asked if she did, in fact, mean her collar. She said "Yep. For leverage." Mmmmmmm, yes.
We went inside. I knew a lot of people there, and it's always nice to be amongst friends. I downed a couple of drinks and got on the dance floor. Gia grabbed me and we danced and made out. She whirled me around, gripped me by the chin and led me. I focused on following her direction as best as I could and just reveled in it. Then we split apart and danced separately for a while, coming back together a few times over the course of the night. I also danced with other people briefly, but not nearly as intensely as I did the last time we were out.
Eric and I didn't dance together. I feel so weirdly awkward about approaching him on the dance floor, so with him not making the first move either it just doesn't happen. I was pretty ok with that fact, but at the same time it was a little weird, knowing that we'd be fucking later and he'd be doing all sorts of things to me and yet not feeling up to the challenge of getting in his space and dancing with him. I mean, what's up with that? It occurred to me that I should just bite the bullet and dance with him to get over my feeling of awkwardness, but I just didn't feel like there was enough of a reason to push it. I did wonder what he thought, what he felt. But I've long ago accepted that that's a pretty fruitless line of inquiry. I have/had (I'm honestly not sure which it is these days but I'm leaning towards that latter) feelings for him that he doesn't have for me, and the best thing I can do for all involved is not to dwell on it.
But then. *sigh* Gia approached me around 1:40am and said that their babysitter had texted them to let them know that their AC had gone out and he was just driving around the neighborhood with the baby in an attempt to stay cool (he's a bigger guy and is sensitive to heat, and it's been VERY hot in our area lately). They had no choice but to go home.
Me outwardly: "It's disappointing, but of course I understand. Go on, we'll see each other tomorrow."
So, they went home. And I went home and got myself off and texted them to let them know what I was doing and that I was thinking of them.
They came over today, Bee in tow, to play in a tabletop roleplaying game with me and my roommates. We all had a great time. We made pizza together, they stayed for about eight hours. Bee has just recently learned to walk on his own for short distances.
He's very interested in everything, very lively.
Last night, missing them, reflecting on how very long it's been since Gia and I have had a night to ourselves, I got a little down about things. Not enough to want to stop, by any means, just kinda sad. It occurred to me that dating someone who's a new parent, especially when you're not co-parenting, is a little like being in an LDR. You just have to accept that the situation is such that they can't be present with you nearly as much as either of you would like.
On the one hand, I wish I was higher up on Gia's priority list, I wish she made more time to be with me. And on the other hand, I know that she's fighting just to stay sane right now, just to maintain her connection to her husband while parenting her child and very occasionally doing something just for her, and in that light what she's done to begin embracing her dominant side, at my urging, is amazing, and we certainly do spend time together, even if it's not alone time, so... how can I think of complaining?