Originally Posted by mercury
And as far as feeling bad about the NRE of a partner and his new woman. I think one solution to that is to get an additional partner of your own. Again, I know that doesn't happen easily either. But you could certainly try to find a partner for yourself too so that you're not sitting at home when he's out with someone else. Have fun. Polyamory isn't supposed to be a woman, her husband, and her husband's gf. It's all too often like that. But the wives and original girlfriends need to get boyfriends and girlfriends of their own and have fun with it. It's not fun for anybody when one person's seething about other people's fun.
That can be a slippery slope. It's not supposed to be a race or a competition; if you need to fill more time, it doesn't need to be with another person. In fact, it can be even more of a detriment. Another = an additional set of characteristics, emotions, habits, etc. that need to be taken into account. It's like emphasizing you can't have fun without mirroring your SO, which of course is not true.