Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Both mono- and poly- are relationship structures. Both are valid choices for an individual to make.
Monogamy is more than just a relationship structure, and this is what kills me when I see the argument that "monogamy is <x>". From my POV, there are two aspects of monogamy:
1. I only desire one person romantically at a time
2. I want my partner to love only me
The second is a relationship structure, as far as I'm concerned, and despite the fact that I'd prefer
such a relationship structure, my relationship with my partner is worth learning how to adapt to a Poly relationship.
The first is me. Period. I have never had romantic feelings for more than one person at a time. Ever. When they grow for one, they wane for another.
The "nature versus nurture" argument gets a bit wonky when both aspects of monogamy get smooshed together, and I think they should be considered as two separate pieces.