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Old 07-09-2012, 01:39 AM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Both mono- and poly- are relationship structures. Both are valid choices for an individual to make.
Monogamy is more than just a relationship structure, and this is what kills me when I see the argument that "monogamy is <x>". From my POV, there are two aspects of monogamy:

1. I only desire one person romantically at a time
2. I want my partner to love only me

The second is a relationship structure, as far as I'm concerned, and despite the fact that I'd prefer such a relationship structure, my relationship with my partner is worth learning how to adapt to a Poly relationship.

The first is me. Period. I have never had romantic feelings for more than one person at a time. Ever. When they grow for one, they wane for another.

The "nature versus nurture" argument gets a bit wonky when both aspects of monogamy get smooshed together, and I think they should be considered as two separate pieces.
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