I don't see why you can't say to him pretty much what you wrote here:
Originally Posted by Chimera
I don't care if she visits him (apparently the sex is amazing...although we'll be back to condoms again since she isn't known for her safe sex practices), but I am SO tired of listening to the pre-, during and post-visit drama. I'm the kind of person who thinks for a long time about things before I make a decision, and I tend to stick by them. Hearing the same pattern over and over again is driving me crazy.
"Hon, first of all, I am not at all jealous of your relationship with her, and it's fine if she visits you - it doesn't bother me in the least. So, please don't make the wrong assumptions about why I am telling you this. But the back-and-forth debating and torturing yourself is what I can't stand. Make a decision and stick to it, or leave me out of your pre-, during-, and post-visit mental drama, because it's just exhausting for me. I'm the kind of person who thinks for a long time about things before I make a decision, and I tend to stick by them. But it's just driving me crazy to always be clued in on every single moment of your thought process about it. Let me know if you have a question, or when you make a decision, but please figure out the rest yourself."