Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Oh, I'm not offended. No worries. I just hear you saying you're surprised at the intensity of her jealousy and insecurity. And it is unfortunate and disappointing for you of course! You wouldnt have let your heart get all involved with your bf if you didn't think his gf was OK with polyamory. Just like, I wouldn't have started up with the woman my ex and I had a relationship with, if I didn't think she was bisexual.
Instead we were both thrown when expectations met reality.
I am a bit surprised at the level of jealousy and insecurity on her part because she's an attractive woman. She's not drop dead gorgeous, but she's attractive. Cool personality, smart, sweet, educated, professional. And I think I'm attractive, too (I'm all those same things). Honestly, I think in the big picture of things, she and I are pretty even.
I just feel like...why be jealous of me? I'm nothing special. Anything I am, she is too. And vice versa. So...I don't get it.
Honestly, I think one reason why I don't feel that jealous in general of other women is that I don't have this sense of myself as awesome. Well, I think I am; I just think other women are, too. Therefore, it's not heartbreaking for me to imagine a man I love thinking of another woman as awesome and totally worthy of his emotions.
I can see him looking me in the eyes and saying (about her): "She's just wonderful. I love her so much." And me saying, "That's wonderful, baby." If I know he loves me too and thinks I"m wonderful, too, and has a great deal of passion for me too...I'm good.