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Old 07-08-2012, 01:53 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

I don't know many people who spend all of their time with their mono partners, and the ones I do know seem to have unhealthy, co-dependent relationships to me.

When I have a single partner, I spend some time with that partner, but most of my time is spent without them. Work, hobbies, hanging out with our respective friends...

When I have more partners, I feel I spend the same amount of time with each, and less on my own.

So I guess in my case, I'm the one who gets to know myself less? I guess to be with more people I sacrifice on reading, playing games, watching movies, etc. But then I make the same "sacrifice" when I'm in a monogamous relationship rather than being single.

Now, I agree that with a third relationship, then I would have to split my time differently, and I assume there would be a reasonable amount of time spent with two or even all three partners at once. I would always want some quality, one on one time though.

Do you think people who are poly and childfree still have that "problem"? Because monogamous people who have children have to give their children more time, as well, and that would take from their partner's. It seems to me that if you have two partners, you spend more quality time with each of them than with your single partner if you have one partner and four kids, because everyone knows how much work, time and investment kids take, more than partners I would say.

EDIT: hell, for that matter, do you think that people who have one child get to know that child better than if they had two? What about parents? Do you get to know your single parent better than if you had two parents? (In that case I'd say it's a trick question. They'd most likely have to work more and therefore you would see less than either parent if you had two. Still, on their days off you'd be with just them I guess).

I don't place enough important in knowing someone perfectly, I guess. I feel like I know Seamus well, but I don't feel that I know him better than I did a year ago. I think there is a curve line at which point you just know someone and you're learning so much less and so much slower, and if you spend the appropriate quality time with them, you might just learn just as much in less time, anyways.

Last edited by Tonberry; 07-08-2012 at 01:56 PM.
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