View Single Post
Old 07-08-2012, 05:51 AM
NovemberRain's Avatar
NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 700

Originally Posted by StarTeddy View Post
I'm extremely honest about what I want and do not want, which can be off-putting to a lot of people who would think I'm being blunt and rude.
'Hi potentialPolyPerson, you seem interesting, I'd like to date you. I'm not interested in having children, how do you feel about children?'

That's not rude in the least (well, it might be if the second or third sentence you ever utter to said person. But somewhere in the first date, or email, isn't rude at all.)

Originally Posted by StarTeddy View Post
And while I'm aware that there are people out there who would be happy in a childfree poly relationship, I'm not sure if that's the type of person I'd be attracted to. I feel like that type of person would be a sort of free-spirit, sexually permissive type of person with lots of partners and I'm just not interested in that. I'm more into the shy, intellectual guy with a goofy sense of humor.
Okay, so I'm new-ish to poly, but 'shy, intellectual, and goofy' would describe almost ALL of my partners in my life (and I've had a lot, as a serial monogamist). Every single one of them did not want children, just like me.

I wish more intellectual people would have children (unfortunately, many do not).

Originally Posted by StarTeddy View Post
But I suppose everything exists in this world, so perhaps I should embark on this search for "the one" who would have all those qualities I desire? (I'm a bit bitter about this whole affair.)
I can see your bitterness. I'm so sad that you're hurting. But that's the whole gorgeousness of poly. You don't have to search for 'the one.' You can search for the many!

How about one intellectual, goofy-humoured, child-free guy, maybe he's not shy and he can help you find a nice shy, intellectual, child-free, maybe not so goofy guy for another boyfriend?
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
Reply With Quote