I don't mean this unkindly -- but have you had a check up? You sound kinda "splitting" in your thinking. Google it.
Reminds me so much of my dad and his "black and white" thinking patterns. All or nothing. HIGHS or loooooows. (He's also bipolar)
This goes beyond my experience so I don't really have anything more to add other than I am glad you are trying to work on yourself and I hope you move into a more positive headspace. I live with Dad's probs so I know how rough it is for him. But I don't really live it MYSELF so... I'm only looking in on it second hand. I don't wear the shoes.
I'd strongly encourage checking out Low's group if you have a chapter nearby though.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-07-2012 at 08:54 PM.