Good for you for leaving the cheating situation. You don't want to be a party to someone's dishonesty and contribute to his wife's betrayal. Theonly way that could work is if he gets honest to his wife about you and they open their marriage for you to be in relationship with him. But if and until that happens, best for you to stay away.
Now, as for W - he is being an ass. Plain and simple. He pushed you into what he thought was poly, but clearly he is only okay with passing you around to be used for your body and not "letting you" (as if it was actually up to him) have emotional involvement and perhaps even love someone else. That is more swingerish than poly.
But whom you share your heart and body with isn't up to him, hon. This is your life, and it sounds like you get much more respect from A than you do from W. So, perhaps this is your wake-up call. Perhaps your relationship with W is not the bliss you thought it was. Ouch, I know. It sucks when reality hits that hard, but this is your chance to take a stand and figure out what YOU want, without putting yourself in uncomfortable situations just to please someone who only sees you in a limited way, as someone who meets his needs but shouldn't have her own.
Last edited by nycindie; 07-07-2012 at 05:44 PM.