The club night that G, E, and I went to last month (after which there was sex) is coming up again tonight. Yesterday, via internet chat, Gia told me that Eric had asked her if they were going to go over my place afterwards again, and she had said that she'd like to very much. I affirmed that I'd definitely like that too, and decided to take it a step further. I said "You know I love vanilla sex with you guys (inasmuch as a threesome can be called vanilla), but I'd also really like to get roughed up by one or both of you, just, y' know, something to consider, and if we were in fact gonna maybe do something like that we would of course want to talk about it first."
Long story short, Eric being the least communicative and the most sexually sadistic of the three of us, Gia is going to start by getting him to give her a list of what he'd like to do, in terms of BDSM. She is then going to review it for anything that, on the one hand, she wouldn't even want to be around period, and, on the other hand, things she'd like to actively participate in. Then she'll pass the list on to me and I'll rate each thing on a scale from "Ew, no thanks" to "Sure, if it gets you off" to "YES PLEASE". Anything I want that's not on there I can also add, and it'll go back to them for more review. Then, in bed, we'll use a simple green/go, yellow/ease up, and red/stop safeword system.
Guys, I just can't even tell you how excited I am about this. It's been a LONG time coming. I feel like my patient persistence and forthrightness has totally paid off. And I feel good about the system outlined above. It was Gia's idea and it gives her the most control over the process. Under other circumstances it might seem a little weird or controlling, but in this case it's crucial, since major, relationship-threatening problems have come up for her and Eric in the past when Eric has cut her out of the chance to be informed and have a say, particularly in relation to his BDSM activities. I did tell her that at some point I might like to communicate with Eric more directly about this stuff, and not just about technical stuff in the moment, but that I'd be happy to check in with her before and after beginning any such discussions. She said that sounded fine. I'm cool with letting her play the middleman for now, when it comes to this, and, heck, maybe for always, I just need to know that the option is there for me to have a direct line to any sexual partner of mine when it comes to sexual matters.
But there's even more exciting news, believe it or not!
In the course of talking about all this, Gia told me that in the last few months she's been working hard to figure out for herself exactly what turns her on and what she'd like from a D/s perspective. She said that she's doing this in large part because she wants to feel more confident being assertive and asking for what she wants, so that she can feel comfortable having a wench (a term she'd playfully used for me two years ago when we'd first started discussing this, and that you can basically take to mean "servant" in this context) this year at the big camping event we go to August. O_O She wants to let me serve her. In public (not in a creepy way). We'll be camping together this year, for a full week. IT'S LIKE ALL MY KINKY DREAMS ARE (very slowly) COMING TRUE, YOU GUYS.
Omg, they will be here with me, in this very bed where I'm now relaxing, in just over 12 hours!! ...I should probably start tidying things up.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 07-07-2012 at 04:17 PM.