Originally Posted by nycindie
One thing that keeps coming up for me is a good deal of skepticism....
He is a much younger guy, says he is a doctor, and supposedly getting divorced. He tells me his wife already moved back to Europe to be with her family and that they've been separated for a while. Apparently he works in his practice about 60 hours a week and looks forward to his trips to New York as a getaway, in addition to a new business thing he's getting into. In my mind, I just don't know how I can really believe and trust someone who lives so far away, and comes from a different culture. How do I verify anything he says?
If he's working on something in NYC, there should be records available about it in NYC. Filings for permits or incorporation or whatever. Try to find out with whom he's going into business and see if they actually exist. If you can find anybody else whom he knows in NYC, see if you can get a bit of time with them to learn about him--you're curious to find out what other people think about him, which is entirely understandable.
As for checking on the separation, I have no idea how to go about checking on such things in other countries. Conversation with other folks who know him is likely the only way you have available for such a check.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.