Well, I guess the real issue is that I have abandonment issues. My parents were physically present but they never gave me much in the way of emotional support. Because of that, it hurts a lot when I love someone but they'd rather not be with me--it feels like I need them and I'm being abandoned. I'm aware this isn't the case at all, but it still hurts. It also hurts when I love someone and I can't express my feelings towards them, because I feel like I'm lying to myself.
And as for the living together thing...I don't know, it has more to do with me not wanting to feel like I have to take time away from one of them to be with the other, and some aspects of childcare. My ideal situation is living together with partners who are friends and enjoy each other's company. And also I worry that if I ever have a child, that I won't be able to take care of it like I should, because there wouldn't be enough time or money to go around. I'm also scared that I'd resent the child for all the time it would take away from me. I feel like it would be MUCH easier to raise a child in a three-person, two-salary family where the mother stays home with the child. So is it a hard limit or a want? I really don't know.
edit: Oh, and about my ex....he has a really bad family and he's been going through some really rough times since our relationship ended. Basically, I was the only person in his life who cared about what he wanted and his own wellbeing, and it took our breaking up (under pressure from his parents) for him to realize that if he didn't care about himself, nobody would. He's been trying to pick up the pieces of his life lately, and I feel like I should be there to support him and make sure that he doesn't fall into the same bad habits. Lots of years ago I had promised I'd always be there for him, and I'd never forgive myself if something bad happened to him and I never even tried.
Last edited by StarTeddy; 07-06-2012 at 05:53 PM.