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Old 07-06-2012, 05:41 PM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 264

Originally Posted by StarTeddy View Post
To me, the relationship label is mostly for the public, and it also holds a promise for the future. It's a label of expectation... If it's fleeting, if it's shallow...why bother confusing everyone else by calling it a "relationship" when it clearly isn't going anywhere?
How you describe the friendship-to-relationship continuum is pretty much exactly how I feel, except that there are a few male friends who I think are great and don't have an attraction to, much like a female friend.

I don't know about the public part. I am most definitely in a relationship with C, and he considers himself in a relationship with me, even though we keep it discreet and even though he expects to end it when he finds a girlfriend he can have a more complete relationship with. (He and I don't have full-on sex, and I can't live or travel with him because I'm married and busy raising children.) We love each other a whole bunch, there is romance, there is sexual intimacy within the boundaries I negotiated with my husband, there is daily communication (typically at least a couple of emails a day), and we miss each other when we are apart. It's been going on over a year, and it doesn't feel shallow in any way. If I didn't have a husband we would surely let everyone know we were in love. It's only the poly part keeping us secret.

When I read about people here being in a V or N or triad, does that mean that's who you're having sex with? When it comes to love I think I am in more of a starburst, with some strong rays coming off, and some faint rays, and everything in between, too many to really count.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs
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