All relationships go through emotional times, which can often hide the underlying reason. It's important that the room is there to work on those, and that everyone involved in other relationships respect that and help you through this.
It sounds like you are already peeling back the layers of the emotional onion and starting to get to the issues, which is great!
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb