Being poly is so unfair.
This is kind of similar to the other thread "I miss the perks of monogamy", but this is more of a personal vent of things I've been thinking about for a while.
I feel like being poly is the only way I can live my life in a way that is honest to myself and my feelings. But it's tough...and it's incredibly unfair in this society. Isn't love something that is encouraged and celebrated? Why is it that because I love two people so much that I can't imagine being without them, it means I must lose them both? My ex and I broke up because I had fallen for his best friend and he could not accept a poly relationship. His best friend was more open to the idea, but he's been shying away from it lately. I told him that my ideal arrangement would be all partners living in the same house, but he told me that he does not wish to live with anyone who isn't his partner. He also finds it unfair to have to share time spent together. So I feel like it's only a matter of time until I lose him. I've been trying to reconnect with an ex of mine who I was madly in love with, more than anyone else...I don't really expect anything to come of it, but if it did he'd probably reject me too, because of the way I choose to love. And the thing that hurts the most is that all three of them would want to date me if it was just them.
Because I want to love, I am precluded from loving. And I feel so alone.
I just want to be allowed to love, and I want to express that love...but from now on, the sad reality is that most of the people I'll ever love will reject me. I suppose, then, that I should become someone who loves without expecting anything in return. Because really, who would want to share when they can have so much more....?