Originally Posted by Tahirabs
This has helped me alot! Thank you all! Recently the three of us had a seriouse talk about commitment, family, and love. My GF has to go back to Finland at the end of this month
and won't be able to return for atleast 2years (possibly longer). My husband wanted to have a deep conversation about what would happen if she retuens (she keeps telling us she will definitly retun to the U.S. and to us) about her putting the family first in regars to communication and money and she was really all for this. She even said this is what she wants. I have talked about putting all our wants and needs down on paper and signing it, just for our sake. What do others think of this idea? I think mainly this would make me feel better about her leaving for so long!! (She has promised to e-mail (even jsut a hi I love you) me daily and hand write letters weekly, but I told her that is alot and that she doesn't have to) Just wondering what others think since you all give such GREAT advice!!!
We just finished putting to paper (well on my laptop so not REAL paper) our needs/wants/expectations. It really helped get a lot of our thoughts and understandings online with one another.
The only caution I would give you is to understand-that time changes EVERYONE-and we can't predict FOR SURE how it will do so. Be aware of that as you go into this new dynamic. Things could change to bring you all closer together, or only some of you closer together, or drive you all apart or drive only some of you apart etc. Don't try to keep the relationship the same-it would stagnate growth for all of you.
If you want to put things in writing, make it a "living list" so to speak-able to be updated and changed amongst you as time goes by..