Just wanted to add my welcome to the forum.
That's a tough situation, when you are wanting something more with your friend but your partner just isn't ready for that yet. It sounds hopeful that he might be okay with more eventually. Small steps, a little at a time.
Hopefully the three of you can meet together sometime soon. It sounds like there's a lot of stress and tension in the air at the moment.
I hope your time spent on Polyamory.com will help you feel better about your situation. Keep up the communication with both of your guys as much as you can.
I wish for you the very best.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"