Originally Posted by km34
What about genetic issues? What about family medical history to assess risk? What if the kid becomes curious about knowing where ancestors came from or something like that?
Well, while I don't believe there is a point in hiding who's the biological father (after all, you can't hide who's the biological mother, and it has never prevented adoptive mothers, surrogate mothers, etc), I think if you genuinely don't know then I wouldn't want to go get a paternity test. It seems to me it would be kind of pointless.
Wanting it not to be known would be pointless too, though. It's possible the kid will look like their father, or as you said, have a condition they get from them.
However, I think I would want to know the medical background of everyone involved, so if one of the issues arises, we'll know to deal with it. I don't think knowing who the biological father is is necessary, if there are two of them, you can know the medical background of both of them and know what to look for.
Similarly, with knowing about your ancestors, I see that as cultural, not biological. I know plenty of adopted children who wanted to learn about their ancestors and did, and nevermind that they weren't actually related to any of them by blood. You can learn about all your families, each mother's, each father's, learn the ancestry, the origins, and how you fit in the middle. They're the people raising you, so that's who you're getting your culture from, after all.
It is said that 25% of kids are raised by a man who thinks is their father, and who they think is their father, but who actually isn't. I don't think not knowing is a huge deal. I don't think knowing is a huge deal, either. If one would keep you up at night, do the other.