I recognized long ago that I was too fucked up to be the kind of parent I think one should be, and so have always chosen to be childfree. But if I wanted to love and raise a child, I could easily love and raise one not my own, and I feel adoption is one of the noblest things a person can do.
I have always strongly believed that if a person wants to accept the responsibility of being a parent, with the intention of loving, nurturing, and raising a child to be a good, decent, and happy human being, why would it matter whose sperm fertilized the egg before the child came into existence? If the intention is to carry on a bloodline or name, secondary to the nurturing and growth of a little person, then paternity would be an issue -- but in my opinion, it shouldn't be. Children are not meant to fulfill the things that their parents feel are missing; it's the other way around.
BTW, there have been a bunch of other threads on this topic, if you do a search. Look for the Master Thread on "Children and Polyamory" as a start.
Last edited by nycindie; 07-04-2012 at 05:36 PM.