The problem I had when I was in that situation was ...a) having to mention it... b) the forced dates....or obligatory dates....ok I'm here what do you want to do ... Wait hold that thought I just got a text....reading reading ..giggle giggle...ok what were you saying.
Dinged is correct.
I think scheduled time with spouse is critical. But if the person is not going to be fully PRESENT and share time together in that block, then it is just lip service to the rship. It's fresh
to be checking email/phone during a date.
OSOs respect the date time and do not call or text in that time block shy of it being "OMG, in ambulance going to hospital! My leg got chopped off!" level emergencies. Because you'd do same when it's their date time.
There's a basic level of respect and I'm not reading you get that here from wife right now. Is she just caught up in NRE with the new sub? How young is the toddler? 1? 2? Is postpartum depression a possibility? Her "running away from home" being "running away from being mom" and the demands of kids? Is she checking out of her relationships (you and the GF) but not in a hurry about it because then she's got people on the homestead dealing with the kid, income flow, etc?
Because if the person is on the checking out ride, let's just face it head on and not string people along. That's just not honorable.
What the heck is going on here?
Basically got to get together and have the talk. And if she's not wanting to talk... that's telling you something serious.