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Old 07-04-2012, 12:24 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485
Default sexual versus emotional jealousy

been thinking a lot about this lately and wonder what other people's views are.. could use some help dealing with my husbands pain and jealousy.

I have a 'steady' relationship with my boyfriend. My husband has met him casually a couple of times, and this weekend they met for a longer 'date' and had lunch and talked. My husband came back saying that he thinks that C (boyfriend) really loves me and is very serious about the relationship. He did not even blink when telling me this, I think he was happy for me, and not jealous at all. He knows I'm meeting C.'s kids for the first time this weekend and is completely ok with the fact that I spend 2 nights a week with him.

Now that same weekend I was away with my other partner, who I would describe as a very good friend with very nice benefits. We don't see each other that often and are not really involved in each others lives. Anyway, I came home with some bruises from kinky sex and my husband just flipped. He's been in full blown jealousy mode since Sunday and I don't know what to say or do to help him snap out of it. Its so different from the kind of jealousy I feel about my husband and his girlfriend. I'm jealous when he cooks for her.. when he helps her with stuff.. when he takes her to what I consider to be 'our' pub. What I would call jealousy of intimacy, emotional stuff. I don't understand the felings he has now and don't what to say to help him.
The fact that there was kinky sex involved doesn't help, although I am not really sure if its really about the kinky part (something we don't share), or just about the fact that I came home with visual evidence of having had sex.

(Conversely, I saw C last night and he did not exppress any jealousy at all. In fact, I think he was relieved that my encounter with other lover seemed to have been mostly about the sex.. I think HE is much more prone to emotional jealousy! So confusing!)
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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